“I love her so much. I am overwhelmed I just love her so much.” -Dad
Home. And feeling exactly this way. My love for them is crashing through me. The tide in my chest, like I swallowed the ocean. I walked in the door 2 nights ago, reunited with them after 10 days away, and took in the sight of my father in his chair. “Hi Dad!” I cried. “Hello,” he answered, detached. Knowing enough to hide what he didn’t. Me.
Nephew, sister, hugs, welcomes. Finally I made my way to his side, reaching out my hand gingerly to caress his forehead. He was distant at first, room temperature. Like a bath you ran to warm a chill but then left to sit. Had I ceased to feel familiar to him? Were 10 days away too many? I loaded him with kisses before making my way toward Momma. She was seated in the kitchen and leaning drowsily against the table in the afterglow of supper. At the sight of her face I couldn’t hold back. I fell to my knees, threw my arms around her, and pressed my own face against her belly heaving sobs into her softness.
Mommy, Daddy. I have been drowning in sand. ~ On the opposite end of this immense hourglass, smothered by respite. ~ Your days numbered in grains, and falling over me.
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Crossposted from Instagram