A Timeless Blur

February 10th. My mother has been dead for a year. We all went for lunch this afternoon to one of her and Dad’s favorite places. When our check came my sister suggested we extend our love and pay another diner’s tab. Our eyes trailed the booths and tables. How could we ever choose? I shared our intention with our waitress and asked for her help. “Do you have any other tables?” “Just one.” She gestured her chin toward a woman sitting alone at a small table in the back section of the restaurant. “We would like to pay her bill. But please don’t share this with her until we leave. I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable.” I sign each check and we are gathering our things to go when I see our waitress making her way toward me wide eyed. “I am so sorry,” she says, “I had to tell her! She was getting ready to leave and asked for her check!” I start to say “Don’t worry” but the waitress continues, “And you won’t believe this… This is the anniversary of HER mother’s death! She is shaking and crying over there in disbelief!”

Not disbelief, I think. Belief.
Momma has been teaching me this.

I raise my eyes to the woman who is clutching her chest with one hand and blowing kisses with the other. I feel our hearts melting together and I am drawn towards her. “Thirty years ago I lost my mother,” she tells me when I arrive. And suddenly I am in a timeless blur where I am hugging this stranger and feeling my mother – sad and happy in grief and wonder.

Crossposted to Instagram

#mymommamyheart #endalz #grief #belief#wonder #loss #fightwithyourheart #alzheimers #alzheimersawareness #iamacaregiver #facesofcare

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  • Reply Kris February 12, 2018 at 9:13 pm

    What a gift! What you gave came back in spades. And so it goes…

  • Reply Dianne February 12, 2018 at 10:13 pm

    What a beautiful story you’ve shared. I’ve been following you for a couple of years now. You give hope to other in similar situations. Stay strong my friend…

  • Reply Alison Norberg February 12, 2018 at 10:36 pm

    ” . …sad and happy in grief and wonder. ” That’s what I love most about this post. In marking this anniversary, and finding such a wonderful way to expand the circle of your Momma’s generous care, this is where you end up : sad and happy in grief and wonder. Choosing to be open, intentional and vulnerable in the journey of caring and in the journey of grief, we go deeper into ourselves and engage more deeply with others. Much love to you, Elizabeth.

  • Reply Beth Spadafora February 13, 2018 at 2:59 am

    How very lovely. This has made tears stream down my face. Synchronicity in action!

  • Reply Lakelyn February 13, 2018 at 10:26 am

    That is a beautiful way to honor your mother and to bless another person!

  • Reply elizabeth February 14, 2018 at 10:29 am

    So lovely. Thank you for reminding me of our precious shared humanity.

  • Reply Emily Gaffney April 23, 2019 at 6:48 am

    I got a little choked up here… I’m sure your Momma had a lot to do with you becoming the kind of woman who would do such a beautiful thing. Blessings to you Lizzie!

    • Reply elizabethgracewolf April 27, 2019 at 7:43 pm

      Thank you Emily! She did and she still does. I feel her with me always <3 Lots of love to you!

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