Vignettes

Weekday Morning Ritual

Dad window

Waiting for Roger who will drive Dad to his day program. He and I are having this conversation as I feed Momma her breakfast: “Now where will they be taking me today? Is it a school that I’m going to?” Seeming eager but anxious, he has no recollection of this place where he has spent the majority of mornings over the last 3 years. Dad wants to know: “Do they have music there?” And wonders, as if he’ll be riding a public bus for the first time, “Do I just hand him the fare?” Yes there’ll be music. The old tunes you love. And there is no fare. You just get to enjoy the ride. He settles contentedly back into his chair after such reassurances, peering out the window onto a gorgeous day waiting for the unknown to carry him off. My heart is aching watching him. For the courage he has to face this oblivion. For the trust he has to let it take him.

#alzheimersawareness #endalz #alzheimers #myfathermyheart #purelove #courage #trust #myheartaches #constantly

Crossposted to Instagram

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7 Comments

  • Reply Gretchen Staebler April 18, 2016 at 10:24 am

    I don’t know why I got an email about your post, but I’m glad I did! Now I will subscribe. The photo of your dad in the window looks so startlingly like my father (who died 21 years ago), I did a double and triple take. The stance, the physical appearance, the dress. Oh my goodness. My mother, with whom I live, will be 100 in June. She will probably outlive me. I blog about this life as well. Glad to meet you! (Your site is beautiful.)

    • Reply elizabethgracewolf April 18, 2016 at 7:58 pm

      Glad to meet you too! Thank you for connecting Gretchen. I look forward to visiting your site and reading more about your world. <3 Lizzie

  • Reply Martha April 19, 2016 at 10:19 pm

    I read your post & wonder if this is how it will be for me after a while. My mother has moderate Alzheimer’s. She is almost 87 & is in good physical health. It is such an awful disease. I pray that we will both have the strength & patience to endure this.

  • Reply Gale April 28, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    Hi my name is Gale, my Mom was diagnose With dementia 2 years ago, my Dad takes care of her, I am there every day checking on them, it is a lot on my Dad, he does not understand the disease and why she repeats herself, thank you for posting your site

  • Reply Lynn May 11, 2016 at 9:26 pm

    Those damn Facebook feeds – always getting me all teary-eyed! Your post is nearly a replica of my life, with my lovely husband. He has caregivers whom I think he knows from day to day, but never remembers them after, nor what he has done, or what he will do. He also is blindly trusting of everything I set up for him to do, or who he is going with. That trust blinds me. Stops me in my tracks. And I will never take it for granted. I love him so much. Diagnosed at 67 and will be 72 in few weeks.

  • Reply Sue Du Plessis May 12, 2016 at 10:03 am

    And I thought I had problems caring for my mum who has Alzheimer’s aged 87. I didn’t think how it might be to have both parents suffering! My dad died more than ten years ago and I am thankful that he never had to see his beloved wife in this state. It is hard to handle but I don’t think I have ever known such love as I feel for my mom with this awful disease. I live for the occasional glimpses of the old mum I used to know when she thanks me for all I do for her and thanks God for me. I have no brothers or sisters to share this responsibility with – every decision about her comfort and well-being is upon my shoulders which is a scary task. It is awful to see her gradual deterioration as she slowly forgets how to eat, sleep, walk and eventually breathe – but somehow we manage to find humour in the silliest of situations.

  • Reply irenek May 17, 2016 at 12:32 am

    I enjoy reading your blog. You are a great daughter and thank you for sharing this journey daughters take on . Bless you.

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